Alternate World XI

The 13^th of January saw the crowning of the FIFA/FIFPRO World XI. Chosen by over 5,000 professionals from the world of football it aims to recognise the best eleven footballers on the planet. But what do these professional footballers know, in between training in the morning, quad biking through the countryside in the afternoon and pressuring young women into choices they’ll regret in the evening there is no time for them to watch a decent amount of football. Always keen to belatedly jump on any bandwagon; here is my alternate World XI. Besides, I have nothing else going on in my life and have plenty of time to watch and compare the world’s best.

There was only one rule: There are no rules no repeat choices from the original eleven. (So that rules out: Manuel Neuer, Dani Alves, Thiago Silva, Sergio Ramos, Philipp Lahm, Franck Ribery, Xavi Hernandez, Andres Iniesta, Lionel Messi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Cristiano Ronaldo)

Right here goes. Formation. 4-1-2-3-1.

Goalkeeper.
This one is difficult. As Neuer is actually quite far ahead of his contenders. Thibaut Courtois seems as sensible a choice as any. Winner of the Ricardo Zamora Trophy (lowest goals to game ratio in spain) and crucial cog in the triumph in defensive oraganisation that was Aletico Madrid in 2013. Maker of fine saves and consistently impressive distribution Thibaut is fast looking the complete package. All this whilst on loan from Chelsea. Petr Cech beware.

Right Back.
Possibly the most uninspiring this category has been for years. Dani Alves most certainly is on the decline. Lahm is excellent but vouched for (and on Pep’s midfield duty). My vote goes for tenacious Argentine (is there any other kind?) Pablo Zabaleta. A rare bright spot in Mancini’s uninspiring title defence for Manchester City, a consummate professional who has added real attacking intent to his previous defensive competency. An excellent all rounder who would improve any squad.

Left Back.
A freighteningly ignorant omission from the World XI was surely David Alaba. With Lahm’s move into midfield he now has a decent case for calling himself the best full back plying his trade currently. A man who has it all, goal-line blocks, pace, attacking intent and a whirl at set-pieces. No brainer.

Centre backs.
The snub for a central defensive unit who kept a clean sheet over two legs against Barca in the champions league semi-final must not continue. To that end: Jerome Boateng. The less celebrated out of Boateng-Dante but in this humble bloggers opinion, the superior defender. The mere fact that Dante sits behind comedy defender David Luiz in his national team means he’s ineligible for this squad. To partner him Andrea Barzagli. Having a world XI without an Italian defender felt a bit wrong, but more than that, Barzagli is just a very good defender. Stong, tactically astute and able to steal the ball from under the nose of any striker. A real toss-up between him and Chiellini though at the heart of Juventus’ and Italy’s defence, with Andrea just edging it in my book. Surely he’s better then red card Magnet Mr. Ramos at least?

Defensive Midfielder.
Any team worth their salt employs a defensive midfielder nowadays. FIFPRO’s Xavi, Iniesta and Ribery would offer little protection in an actual game of football. Step up to the plate Bastian Schweinsteiger. Wining 2013 German player of the year, and being described as Jupp Heynckes as the best midfielder on the planet are good enough credentials to patrol in front of my defence. He really does have it all (except pace, but the extra yard’s in his head, he inherited it from Teddy Sheringham when he retired) power, technique and leadership. A real german machine.

Central Midfielder.
The next slot needs to be filled by a box to box midfield type. So, he’s got to have legs, an engine, defensive capabilities, be able to pick a pass and chip in with the occasional goal. 2013’s best exponent of these virtues was surely Arturo Vidal. Helping Juventus win the league at an absolute canter the tenacious Chilean (journalism 101 being discovered here: tenacious *insert south American nationality*) deserves his spot despite being completely overrun by Bayern’s midfield in the champions league *cough* it certainly didn’t rule out Iniesta/Xavi for the real XI *cough* Excuse me.

Attacking midfielder.
It being 2014 nowadays, no team should exist without a number 10, A trequartista, a playmaker. The type of people that make football fun to watch. If it was up to me this role would go to Juan Mata. The little Spanish magician really is a joy to watch. He provides assists and goals in equal measure and seems a genuinely lovely bloke to boot. What’s that?  It is up to me? He’s in then. His positional sense is outstanding. His technique; breathtaking. And his beard; adorable. His decline to Chelsea benchwarmer really is heartbreaking to watch. #freethespecialjuan.

Right Winger.
Arjen Robben. Scored the winner in the champions league final. Monkey off his back. The nearly man (THAT World cup final miss. Oh dear) became the main man. He really is just a brilliant footballer. Ferociously fast and superbly skilful. Occasionally shot happy, but always entertaining.

Left Winger.
Gareth Bale sold his soul this year; sacrificing his creative side to become a goal machine. But what a pleasantly functioning machine he was. The scorer of more wonder goals per minute then anyone in the premiership since a certain Ronaldo graced the league. A truely brilliant season, and he started life in Madrid in a similar fashion. (alright apart from a very convincing ghost impression in el clasico). Well done Gareth; do the valleys proud.

Centre Forward.
Despite having his first trophy less season at Dortmund (and being a bit of a dick at following Götze to Bayern) Robert Lewandowski is an excellent footballer. He improved his all round game this year too, dropping deep in tough games and always linking up well with Judas Götze and Marco Reus. That and he scored a lot of excellent goals; and that’s what being a centre forward is all about.

So there you are. I reckon this team would give FIFPRO’s XI a right pasting.